Nerf commercials in the 90s were too edgy for words, but I’ll do my best regardless. Now, I haven’t really fully browsed the archives of 80s and 90s commercials; I’m not a commercial aficionado. This, however, is one of my favorites of those I have actually seen, in part because it’s so very 90s and in part because it has Seth Green with the most ridiculous hair ever, uttering lines such as “Allow us to demonstrate proper usage whilst you frolic,” like a pretentious little prat.
This particular commercial is for the Nerf Slingshot and features the aforementioned Seth Green and some guy named RJ Williams who apparently is famous for something or another, so I’ll mention him too. Seth and his floppy red mop of hair steal the show as these two totally hip teens bring their Nerf guns to the mall, something which would no doubt get you branded a terrorist nowadays.
They fire their slingshots to show how they work, even at the camera! Oh no, Seth, don’t shoot me you Flock-of-Seagulls-looking rebel! They do move on from taking shots at the viewer when their teenaged radars pick up a “Babe alert.” Rather than flirting awkwardly like normal teenage boys would do, they “hit on them. LONG DISTANCE!” So now that these two have established themselves as annoying pricks who enjoy smacking unsuspecting girls in the face with balls, we get the ultimate 90s exchange:
Oh ho, you had me going there, you little brats. But no, then you had to go pick on mimes, as if that poor performer were doing anything but trying to make an honest buck. Instead, he’s assaulted with a barrage of yellow Nerf balls until he topples back into the mall’s fountain. Yeah, sorry Mr. Mime, maybe you’ll find some pennies at the bottom of that fountain if you don’t drown in the filthy water first. That’ll teach you to put your Fine Arts degree to use.
So yeah, Nerf Slingshot; “’cause it’s Nerf or Nothing.” Goddamn punk kids.